hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
