you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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