Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
