Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
