You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
