Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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