Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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