there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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