no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
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I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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