I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
