so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
