a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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