"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You smell like stripper and shame
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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