i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
