I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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