i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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