I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
