That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
