YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
