I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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