it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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