Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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