Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
