doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
