i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
