Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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