Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
