her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im holly from the hills drunk
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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