just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
