drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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