I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
