apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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