In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
false alarm. still invincible.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
