I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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