Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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