I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
