Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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