the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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