I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
