I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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