Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
