So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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