'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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