We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
