i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
