I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
