I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
