Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
