THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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