My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
