we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
