i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
