Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
