I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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