Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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