She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
