Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh God

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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  (515): Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms (712): Oh God (515): I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship http://tfl.nu/mj00
  Replies (31) Good night (1151) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.

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  (541): Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big. http://tfl.nu/ayxp
  Replies (39) Good night (604) Bad night (4921)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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  (831): atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex. http://tfl.nu/0vib
  Replies (31) Good night (598) Bad night (6771)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".

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  (415): Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed". http://tfl.nu/ptkf
  Replies (54) Good night (8082) Bad night (3354)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.

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  (360): Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time. http://tfl.nu/zvvg
  Replies (7) Good night (3242) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"

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  (918): As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy" http://tfl.nu/glce
  Replies (9) Good night (3191) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.

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  (507): So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning. http://tfl.nu/28fz
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (2363)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus

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  (720): were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus http://tfl.nu/j1dg
  Replies (6) Good night (2221) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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  (601): It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this http://tfl.nu/qp1v
  Replies (9) Good night (740) Bad night (3488)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend

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  (706): Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend http://tfl.nu/biar
  Replies (5) Good night (1715) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)

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  (978): Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :) http://tfl.nu/2ww0
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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  (406): Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues. http://tfl.nu/jvdq
  Replies (7) Good night (649) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.

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  (414): i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now. http://tfl.nu/jexc
  Replies (6) Good night (1130) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.

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  (952): The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex. http://tfl.nu/vpuh
  Replies (5) Good night (196) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning

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  (631): Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning http://tfl.nu/npjx
  Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (205)

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