yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship