so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize