have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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