You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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