Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
